Gary Lee is one relative who knows his family’s experience could have been entirely different had the specialist care and support provided by Isabel Hospice been forced to stop because of the coronavirus outbreak. His mum Jean, who had cancer, may have been readmitted to hospital where she had already spent 10 distressing days without visitors, or Gary may have had to struggle on unsupported caring for his mother at home.

Despite his mum Jean’s initial reluctance to the Hospice’s involvement, our very special approach to care soon won her over, and she spent her final weeks safe and comforted in our care.

“Mum was referred to [Hospice at Home] as an emergency case until other support could be put in place, but she was quite resistant to the idea at first,” Gary said. “But, when Sarah turned up that first morning she was absolutely wonderful with her and by the time she left a few hours later Mum was absolutely fine. Sarah just knew how to deal with grumpy old ladies who were in pain and completely won her round.

“Mum always called them ‘my girls’. She would sit in her chair and as soon as the gate opened and we could hear them coming up the path Mum would light up. There are certain things sons just can’t help with, and she loved having them come to help because she was so well cared for.”

After a few weeks of visits from the Hospice at Home team, Jean told them one day her pain had gotten a lot worse, and it was suggested she came into the In-Patient Unit so they could help manage her painful leg and make her more comfortable.

“Like most people, Mum thought the Hospice was somewhere you go to die. So she was quite surprised when they explained they could help manage her pain, and in fact a high proportion of people then return home,” Gary said.

“She was still cross about the idea, but she went in and that first night [senior staff nurse] Chris sat with her reading her book and, by the morning, she’d softened and knew she was in the best place. She felt looked after, and I remember her telling me how much she loved the puddings!”

Over the next three weeks, Jean’s health deteriorated quickly and Gary described his mum as becoming “quieter and quieter” until eventually the family were told her time was drawing to a close. Gary, his brother Darren, and their former partners Ginette and Angela, who Jean had remained incredibly close to, were all there at the end.

“We were all there in the room with her, talking to her and just being together. Being in that cocoon somehow made something so gut wrenching – your mum dying in front of you – bearable. Everyone was so sympathetic, there was no rush to leave. It was clearly obvious they care so much and there is great pride in what they do.

“For our family, it meant Mum’s passing wasn’t a terrible event, and it was your girls and organisation that made that possible. We will be eternally grateful Mum passed calmly, peacefully and painlessly with us by her side in a place she felt safe.”

He added: “The Hospice does something very special that society doesn’t value enough. Having a good death is important, and [Isabel] allows that to happen. We have no regrets and are very grateful that we belong to this very special group of people.”