“All I can say is that I wish we’d found Isabel Hospice four years earlier”

When Cathy’s husband Charlie was cared for by Isabel Hospice’s Hospice at Home team, she said “their support lifted a weight from our family’s shoulders, allowing us to focus on our time together.” After Charlie died, Cathy found the Isabel Hospice Family Support team’s family-focused care to be everything they needed.

For many years, Charlie had been dealing with chest infections and other persisting symptoms which ultimately led to him being rushed to hospital, where he was later given an diagnosis of incurable Mesothelioma [lung cancer].

Years into his diagnosis, Charlie was referred to Isabel Hospice and supported by our Hospice at Home team. Cathy said “I think when we heard the words palliative care, we were worried, and my husband instantly thought ‘right well that’s it, I’m on my last knockings’. But that’s where we went wrong! It’s actually a really good, helpful thing, and I think we would have gotten a lot more benefit from it had we not been afraid of it.”

The personal care Charlie received in their visits meant a great deal for both of us. He was quite happy when they came, and they were very good with him. That took a weight off our shoulders, for me and the kids too. He never wanted any of us to shower him or anything, so for someone else to come in and do that for him, I think he was relieved himself. All I can say is that I wish we’d found Isabel Hospice four years earlier, because it was a real help to us.”

Charlie passed away at home in the November of 2023. When he died, [Isabel] even came in and got him dressed so we didn’t have to, which was really lovely and helped me tremendously.”

After Charlie’s death, Cathy and her family were offered bereavement support from our Family Support team. She said, “I had a lovely lady named Deidre who rang me regularly, and she helped me a great deal. In the beginning she would ring and say to me ‘If you want to just cry for an hour, you can do that’ and sometimes I would. Other times I’d say that I didn’t feel the need to, but she would always lift me up. She helped me a great deal.”

Cathy’s grandchildren were offered therapy sessions through our children’s bereavement service. Her grandson attended our mindfulness group, which helps children to develop skills in dealing with difficult life situations when a loved one is unwell or has died. Educating them on ways to apply these skills to day-to-day life.

Cathy said “My grandson used to go to the mindfulness group [led by] Buddhika, who is the sort of person that when you meet him, I think you could just tell him anything. He’s such a gentle, lovely and kind person, and I think that’s what [my Grandson] found great. He could actually speak to him and open up to him.”

We were even invited to a day out at a farm with the family support group, which was such a nice day. It’s really nice because, you know that everyone there is obviously going through the same thing and needs some sort of help too. You realise that everyone is coming to terms with losing somebody and that really helped.”

“My Grandson met a lovely friend there that he keeps in contact with. They both have the same interests, and I think if he is ever having a bad day at school, he gets in touch with him and he runs it past him. They often meet up and spend the day together and it’s really lovely. So out of all that, came a really good friendship.”

In general, Isabel Hospice has helped us so much. [Caring for Charlie] then for me, having someone to ring and talk to about everything and for my grandkids to have somewhere to go has been such a great help. I just think they are really, truly amazing. That’s all I can say.”

To find out more about our Family Support services and how we can support you and your loved ones, email family.support@isabelhospice.org.uk or call 01707 382 563.