“I can’t express how grateful I am. You feel like someone cares, and that makes all the difference.”

Ray was referred to Isabel Hospice for pain management and help with his symptoms, following his throat cancer diagnosis. Ray first became aware something was wrong when he started experiencing difficulties with swallowing, which led to a stent surgery. Since connecting with Isabel, our community team has supported Ray at home, with care, support and advice to live well with his condition.

Born in Tottenham, then moving to Welwyn Garden City when he was seven, Ray said he has always been aware of Isabel Hospice, he said “I knew about you but didn’t understand how much you did. Now I know, you do a very good job… an amazing job… for people living with an illness.”

Ray has built a full and active life. Married to his wife Nina for 50 years, they have three sons and Ray is a proud grandparent. He speaks warmly about his family life and friends he has kept for decades, he said “I’ve just had a wonderful life, and I’ve done everything I wanted to do.” Much of his time has been spent outdoors across his three allotments, growing vegetables and staying connected to something he has loved since childhood.

Ray describes the period after his diagnosis as overwhelming. He said “adjusting hasn’t been easy: after my stent, I’ve had to stick with liquids… soups, custard, jelly. It’s difficult getting used to it.”

But from the outset, Ray said the support he received from Isabel Hospice has made a significant difference. “All the people that have come to see me, the support I’ve received has been so valuable, I’m so grateful for it.”

When the team calls, I feel so comfortable with the conversation. It’s good to be able to talk to someone and get advice. I was actually surprised knowing how much help is available, it all came to me. The practical advice, reassurance, and regular check-ins have made a real difference.”

Ray said he initially found it difficult to accept support, he explained “my whole life I’ve always been helping people, and I love to do it. Suddenly all of them were helping me, and I found that quite hard to accept, I don’t want to be a burden. But you soon realise, you need to take all the help you can get”.

The presence of the hospice team brought Ray reassurance on the hardest days. He said “when I speak to you, I feel as if people are in the wings looking after me. You feel like someone’s there… behind the curtain, making sure you’re alright.”

Support has extended beyond Ray himself, with significant benefit to his family as they navigate his illness together, he said, “they always involve my wife in conversations and give her advice too”.

Ray continues to draw strength from the things that have always grounded him, especially his garden. “That’s what keeps me going,” he said, describing how tending plants and staying busy helps him through more difficult days.

Reflecting on his experience as a whole, Ray said “I haven’t got any words to express my gratitude for what Isabel Hospice do. You make me feel like someone really cares and that makes all the difference.”