Sandra’s story: care, comfort and a wedding blessing at Isabel Hospice
Sandra Koniotes is described by her daughter Sarah as “a life liver – she was the most caring soul in the world. She was incredibly creative, put everyone first and, she was an incredible mum.”
When 71-year-old Sandra became too unwell to continue treatment for ovarian cancer, Isabel Hospice became a lifeline of compassionate care at the most difficult time. In the months to come, Sandra was cared for both at home and in our Inpatient Unit in Welwyn Garden City, before she died in December of 2024.
Before her mum was referred, Sarah only knew of Isabel Hospice through our charity shops, but she soon came to find out how special the care is. Sarah said “We feel very privileged to have had the care that we’ve had during the hardest period in our lives. We had what I can only describe as a giant hug around our family.”
The family remembers the everyday reassurance Isabel would provide when Sandra was home from stays at the Inpatient Unit. Sarah said “I remember one Sunday evening when Dad and I were unsure about mum’s medication, we rang the 24-hour advice line and spoke to Erica, who took so much time to talk us through it. We put the phone down feeling reassured and confident. There was always someone at the end of the phone, even now.”
“Mum’s wishes were to pass away at Isabel’s Inpatient Unit because she felt so safe there. We found it a safe space too. It enabled us to spend quality time with her as we knew that someone was always there to look after her. The hospice didn’t just care about her physical well-being; they truly cared about her mental wellbeing.”
During Sandra’s time at the Inpatient Unit, one of the most special moments came when Sarah and her partner Matt decided to get married. Sarah said, “Matt and I had been speaking about getting married for a number of months but when Mum was told she wouldn’t get strong enough for more treatment, we knew we needed to start making plans. It was important mum got to see us get married. It was something she’d always wanted.”
“I first spoke to nurse Jess – as wasn’t sure what was going to be possible. She was amazing, and kick started it all. With the help of Jess, Charlotte, Pauline and many other members of the team, we arranged the whole wedding, including a blessing at the Inpatient unit, in two weeks.”
“The day was incredible. The team decorated mum’s room with bunting, and did her hair, makeup and nails; she looked beautiful. She watched the ceremony live on a video link with her best friends and some of the nurses and afterwards, we all came back for the blessing. I thought it would be small, in her room but we walked in to find the sanctuary room had been transformed with wedding decorations, and all the nurses were there wearing fascinators, they’d given Mum one too.”
“They even had confetti ready for her to throw. It was the first time in months I’d seen her smile. Matt and I both said the blessing was just as special as the wedding ceremony. Without Isabel Hospice, none of that would have happened. It gave our family such a happy moment in the hardest of times. We will never forget it.”
“The nurses really took to my mum and it was more than just care. I feel like they all had such an incredible bond with her, and it felt so lucky to have. But it was hard not to love my mum.”
The support from Isabel Hospice has continued for Sarah as she stays connected and is supported by our Family Support team. Sarah, along with her dad Niki and brother Chris, have also committed to fundraising for Isabel in Sandra’s memory. Sarah said “We organised a charity walk in memory of mum and her best friend who passed away not long after her. We set a target to raise £300 but stormed passed that and raised over £1000. We now hope to do the walk every year. We will always support in any way that we can, we just feel like we’re going to forever be in debt to you all.”
Reflecting on their time at Isabel Sarah shared what made the biggest difference was how Isabel treated her mum. “They embraced my mum and took an interest in her as an individual. She wasn’t a patient; she was a person when she was here. We will always think of the nurses as family.”
Sarah’s message to others is clear. “Don’t be scared of the hospice. The thought of going through what we went through without Isabel Hospice is far scarier. They made something so difficult, not okay or easier but bearable. It’s the difference between doing something scary alone and doing it whilst someone holds your hand.”
