“For us, Lights of Love is always a special, important moment in our year.”
My husband Shaun was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, aged just 46. I was heavily pregnant with our first child at the time.
Isabel Hospice welcomed us both in; their warm, compassionate care enveloped us both. They put a bed in Shaun’s room for me, so I could stay close to him. I had to go to our hospital’s maternity unit (which essentially was next door to the hospice) often – and so I came and went as if I lived there. They gave Shaun the most incredible care, eased his pain. And they kept me topped up with kindness and cups of tea – they looked after us as a family.
My due date was early in the October – but Shaun’s nurses said he was unlikely to live that long. So, I was allowed an early caesarean section – and our daughter Julianne was born, 10 days early. A nurse from the hospice brought Shaun to the hospital to meet Julian the same day she was born so she could meet her dad for the first time. Julianne and I spent time each day with Shaun at the hospice too. He held on for another week – and we were by his side for most of that.
Julianne, our little baby, turned 21 this September. She and I have been back to Isabel Hospice for Lights of Love almost every year since. We were guests at first, but quite a few years back I started volunteering – and now I’m part of the Isabel team that reaches out to support others going through a similar experience to ours, 21 years later.
Lights of Love is so wonderful, so uplifting, because it’s where we can all be together – with our experience of loss – and share those feelings and emotions. It’s a safe space for everyone. I hope everyone in our community knows that they are welcome at any of the services.
I also always donate to Isabel Hospice at this time of year. If Shaun was alive I’d be buying him Christmas presents (socks, probably!) – and so I’m happy for the hospice to have that money instead, because I know it will help to fund the care of someone else who really needs it. Julianne and I hope to be alongside you at Lights of Love this year – to remember all the special people like Shaun.
