“Isabel Hospice were totally different to the sort of professional care we had in the hospital. It was wonderfully personal.”
Alan shares how the Isabel Hospice team cared for his wife, Jan, and their family, so she could spend her final weeks at home with dignity and comfort.
Both my wife Jan and I were extremely healthy and had enjoyed a long, happy retirement together. We were married in 1970, had recently celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary, and split our time between our homes in Bishop’s Stortford and Spain. Jan was a proud Cockney born in Shoreditch, a real tough cookie with a kind heart who lit up every room she walked into. She was a wonderful wife, a devoted mother, and an absolute diamond who filled our lives with laughter and warmth.
In June 2024, whilst we were away in Spain, Jan suddenly became very ill. Following many tests, we received the heart-breaking news that she had a rare, aggressive cancer that after further investigation was found to be inoperable.
In the time that followed, Jan was admitted to hospital where her condition worsened. It was hard for Jan to feel like a person and not just a summary of all her symptoms, as we saw so many different specialists. It got to a stage where Jan could continue treatment in hospital, many of them uncomfortable, or we could go home. I remember she looked at me and said, “I want to go home.” She knew the treatment wasn’t going to reverse anything, and that she wanted to die at home. Once we got her back and comfortable in bed, she was so happy to be there.
When we got home, the district nurses and the team from Isabel Hospice took over her palliative care. They were totally different to the care we had in hospital. It was extremely personal, so loving, and it was for all of my family. They gave us clear advice on what was going to happen and all the stages to expect. If we hadn’t known what to expect, it would have been even more distressing.
They always arrived on time, ready and anticipating what we needed. They just really, really had our back. It was the same faces at our front door, and we knew all of them by name – they felt like family. It was just such a comfortable experience. Jan was on a syringe driver, and they were on the dot every 24 hours for that, they never missed a beat. Everything was done efficiently and they made sure that Jan wasn’t in any pain, which was so important to us.
They supported me too. It was like going on a tour where you had no clue where you were going or what to expect, and having someone guide you every step of the way. Preparing you for what your emotions and experiences were going to be. I don’t know what we would have done without that care and support.
Because of Isabel Hospice, those three weeks Jan had at home were a period of sadness, but also of happiness and laughter. Nothing was left unsaid. The team reminded us to say what we needed to each other, and that was really precious. They helped us manage her pain so she could stay comfortable, and even in her final moments, she knew we were around her. We got to say a proper goodbye.
I will be forever grateful to Isabel Hospice. They are such an essential service, providing care for a step that so many of us must go through, yet they rely so heavily on community funding. I treasure those last weeks we had together and I miss her every day, the laughter, the cuddles, everything.
After Jan died, I decided that I would carry on and make as much of what was left of my life as possible. For my 80th birthday, my son persuaded me to do something bold and take to the skies for a skydive to try and raise £5000 for Isabel Hospice. I’m happy to report I’ve completed the dive and landed safely. I’ve raised £2,000 so far and would really appreciate any support you can give to help me reach my goal, to ensure other families receive the same incredible care that meant so much to us.
Visit Alan’s JustGiving page here:
